Tavern Troubles
by Loopstagirl
Summary: The knights try to forget about what has just happened by a trip to the tavern. The consequences for Merlin are not what anyone expected. Spoilers for 5x11.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

**Next one-shot for you. Not many more of these to go now, why do all of my stories seem to come to an end at the same time? Spoilers for 5x11.**

"Merlin?"

Gwaine's call had the servant turning around as he walked slowly down the corridor. He turned around, but only offered a small smile of greeting. He wasn't in the mood for pleasantries, not considering he knew that the prophecy was one step closer to coming true. It didn't matter what he had tried to do in order to make sure that Mordred stayed loyal to Arthur, it hadn't been enough. All it took was one girl, and everything had been undone. Considering everything that had just happened with Gwen as well, Merlin found himself cursing the women of Camelot under his breath. If Kara hadn't turned up, this might have been avoided.

Gwaine crossed the distance between them, and it was only when the knight came closer that Merlin realised he wasn't the only one feeling less than cheerful.

"What's wrong?" Gwaine shrugged, avoiding Merlin's gaze.

"We're going to the tavern tonight. You're coming."

"I really don't think…"

"Merlin, you're coming. You're one of us. Arthur has Gwen. Please?" Merlin had been all set up to say no again when Gwaine had added the please on the end. It was that word that made him realise that this was no ordinary tavern trip. The knights were clearly feeling Mordred's absence as much as Merlin was, even if their reasoning was completely different.

"Fine, I'll come."

"Good man. I'll meet you at Gaius' at sun down."

"Gwaine-." But it didn't matter that Merlin was going to protest, going to claim that he was going to come down later in order to make sure that he had control over himself. He couldn't let the knights know that he was still worried about what Mordred was going to do now that he had run. For all they knew, it was over in regards to the young knight. Gwaine had walked off, and Merlin saw him meet Percival at the end of the corridor. It was clear they had come together in order to ask – no, tell – Merlin to accompany them to the tavern, yet had decided that it would be better if Gwaine was the one to say it. They had been friends for longer, after all.

Running a hand through his hair, Merlin sighed as he turned back the way he was going. Arthur might have Gwen, but he still needed a servant in order to tidy up after him. When Arthur was miserable, he certainly knew how to make a mess.

The afternoon was one of the longest ones that Merlin had experienced for a long time. Arthur was in an absolutely foul mood, so much so that Merlin didn't even try to talk back to his master but for once acted as the dutiful servant and just went about his chores. Gwen was quiet as well, seeming to realise that Arthur wasn't in the mood to be comforted by anyone. He had been changing his mind over magic the last few months, Merlin had seen it. Yet directly or not, magic had once again taken someone from him that he considered to be a friend.

By the time Merlin knew that he was done for the day, he was now glad that Gwaine had insisted that he came too. There was no way he could face staying in his shared chambers with Gaius all night, hearing the old man go on about how it wasn't his fault and he wouldn't have been able to tell what it was that was going to make Mordred change. Merlin didn't want to hear it, not when the physician had adamantly been saying all along that Merlin might be wrong and that Mordred wasn't going to be a threat. Not that Merlin would ever tell the old man that, but it was nice to have the confrontation he knew was coming delayed by a few hours. He was so late back, however, that he had only had time to put a fresh shirt on before Gwaine turned up.

There was still the same air of defeat about the man as there had been earlier on that day. Merlin didn't ask if he was okay – Arthur's mood had indicated that Mordred's departure had had an effect on all of them. Despite his doubts about the boy, Merlin had to admit that Mordred had been pleasant enough, he had befriended the knights and would have done the same to Merlin if it wasn't for the warnings in the warlock's heart. They were all stinging from the betrayal that Mordred had chosen a girl over the brotherhood that they all shared.

The two men nodded at each other, a swift and searching look that indicated they were there for the other regardless of what was happening. Gwaine clapped his hand momentarily on Merlin's shoulder before turning and walking away. He seemed to have realised that the servant was now in need of this trip as much as the rest of the knights were and so would be following without protest.

He was right, Merlin was right behind the man. They continued the whole way down to the tavern in that fashion, and Merlin barely even thought about the irony of what would happen if Arthur came looking for him tonight. Gaius wouldn't have to lie, that was for sure. The others were already there, tankards waiting for the two missing members of their party, but the mood was sombre.

"I think we all know why we are here tonight. We've lost a friend." Merlin was hard pushed not to correct Leon, knowing all along that Mordred was going to have turned against them.

"He was a good knight."

"He was a good man."

"He's not dead." Merlin muttered, wondering why they all sounded like they were grieving when Mordred had made his own choice. Percival sighed.

"He's as good as now he has sided with Morgana. He's not exactly going to be welcoming the next time we meet, and if it is us or him… We have more experience, we're older and know what we are fighting for. We'll never see him again."

Staring at the drink in front of him, Merlin suddenly snapped.

His hand shot out, grasping the handle as he lifted it and took a long swig. The mead made him cough slightly, but it had the desired effect as the mood around the table was broken as Leon slapped him on the back to help clear his airways again. Leon, Percival and Gwaine picked up their own drinks, all mimicking Merlin's actions.

MMM

"But whhhhy?" Merlin whined, a pout on his face and his head resting on the table. His fifth empty tankard was resting in front of him, and Merlin had the vague inclination that it might have been not quite empty. His fingers brushed across the handle, tilting it up so that he could check, but Leon got there first, moving it safely out of the servant's reach. Gwaine was sprawled in his chair, hair mussed up and all over the place as he gazed off into space. Percival was more focused, able to hold his ale better, and Leon had designated himself to be the sensible one for the night and make sure the rest of them all got home.

Merlin, however, had finally let go after months of worrying and not being able to say anything about it.

"Why what?"

"Why… why… does he have to be such a prat?"

"Merlin, come on, that's your king you're talking about."

"S'not my king, s'my destiny. Stuuupid destiny, don't wanna anymore…" Leon glanced at Percival, who frowned back. Neither of them had any idea what Merlin was talking about.

"And you…" Suddenly, Merlin's finger was jabbing in Leon's chest as he struggled to sit up. The apparent aggression behind his actions was lost somewhat as Leon had to slide a hand around Merlin's back in order to support him as he made it into a more upright position.

"You… you should have… you're a good man. I want more!" Merlin weaved, Leon being forced to tighten his grip in order to keep him upright. Merlin was finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to tell them all about what he could do. After all, these were good men, and they were his friends. If Morgana got her way, he wouldn't have many of them left.

"Thank you, Merlin. I think you've had quite enough. Percival, stop Gwaine getting another round, this two still have to be up at dawn like the rest of us." Percival nodded his understanding, resting his hand on Gwaine's shoulder even as the man made to rise to do that. Gwaine frowned at him, then fell back, laughing. He had grown close to Mordred, and therefore had found it necessary to keep Merlin company in drowning his sorrows. For his part, Leon wasn't sure that he had ever seen Merlin drunk before. He normally kept himself functioning at least mostly in case the king needed his services. The situation with Mordred must have really got to him if this was how much he was letting himself go. It was odd though, Leon had never got the impression that Merlin had warmed to Mordred the way the rest of them had.

"I want more! Can't stop me just because you are a knight!"

"I think that is our cue to leave." Percival took Gwaine by the back of his shirt whilst Leon slid Merlin's arm over his shoulder, hoisting the younger man up and out of the tavern. The other two were already disappearing around the corner by the time Leon managed to get Merlin out of the door, and the shock of cold air seemed to sober him up slightly. Before Leon could say anything, Merlin had stopped and turned towards Gwen's old house.

"No one there."

"There wouldn't be, Merlin, she's Queen now."

"It's empty. Gone. Dead. S'my fault."

"Merlin, it's not your fault that Elyan died. It's not your fault that Mordred chose a path that took him in a different direction to what we had hoped for him."

"It is. I had warnings, I knew. They told me to stop him, years ago. It's all my fault."

"Right, that's it." Leon propped Merlin up against the wall, keeping his hands on the warlock's shoulders in order to stop him from just falling forward again.

"What is going on with you? All night you've moped around and muttered about things being your fault. I've never seen you like this before, you're normally either the sensible one or spend the whole night laughing about something. You can blame it on the drink all you like, you don't just change the way you get drunk at the snap of the fingers. What is wrong?"

"Mordred." Merlin muttered, blinking in order to try and get his vision to focus on Leon's face. The fresh air was doing him good, making him realise what he was saying and warning him to be careful. He wasn't sure what he had been saying all night, but knew that if he let anything wrong slip now, Leon wouldn't back down until he had found out the truth. Leon's grip tightened in sympathy a little.

"I know it hit us hard that he ran like that, that he chose the girl over Arthur. After everything…"

"No. He was always going to choose the girl, always going to choose a path that would lead to him turning away from Arthur."

"Merlin, you can't really believe that, he was a good lad. He saved the King's life more than once."

"Just so he could take it himself."

"Has him leaving really affected you that much? Are you really prepared to think such bitter thoughts about a man that, up until a few days ago, was your friend?"

"My friend?" Merlin muttered, frowning at Leon. It was then that he realised what the problem was. He had tried to guard against it, he had tried to tell himself that Mordred was not to be trusted and that him being in Camelot was not a good thing. But the boy had been charming and seemed devoted to Arthur… and Merlin had found himself beginning to like him. On a really good day, he even enjoyed the fact that there was someone else in the heart of Camelot who could not only use magic, but would use it to help Arthur, to help Merlin with his destiny.

He had been a fool to think that destinies could be averted.

"Do you ever wish that fate had dealt you another hand?" Merlin muttered, sagging against the wall and yawning now that he was beginning to regain his senses a little. Leon drew back, but still kept a hand against Merlin's shoulder.

"Sometimes. When we finish a fight, or some sort of battle, and I realise that Arthur is nowhere to be seen, that I have no idea whether he is alive or not. Then I find myself wishing I had a more relaxed role in life where I wasn't worrying constantly. But you know how I deal with it?"

"How?" Merlin muttered, genuinely curious. Leon had just described almost exactly how he was feeling.

"I know that someone else is there to take my place, to keep Camelot safe. You seem to think that it is your destiny to keep Camelot safe? Well, as a knight, therefore that is my destiny too. But if I fail, if I die in the process, I know that another will be there to pick up from where I left off."

Merlin stared at him, suddenly feeling as if someone had thrown an ice cold bucket of water over him. The knight was right. It was his destiny to protect Arthur, but he wasn't the only one bound to serve the king. He had been worrying and moping over Mordred, refusing to let the boy into his heart for fear of what would happen when the ultimate betrayal happened. But it had offered him some sort of protection – he was feeling the young knight's loss simply because it meant the prophecy was coming true.

These men had lost a friend.

Leon seemed to see in his expression that his words had sunk in and he took that chance to take Merlin's arm again and begin to lead him back towards the castle. Merlin went willingly this time, feet stumbling along as his mind tried to process through the alcohol haze everything that Leon had just said. He had lost the desire to tell them all about his magic, but not the urge to start sharing things more. Maybe they couldn't take on his destiny, the dragon had always said that it was for him and him alone to keep the Once and Future King safe. But they could help keep Arthur safe.

When Merlin had started distinguishing between the man and the destiny, he had no idea. It was the King who he had to keep safe physically, but it was the man who he tried to protect emotionally. And the man, Merlin couldn't help but think as he was pulled along, could be aided by others apart from Merlin.

Leon escorted him all the way up to Gaius' chambers, clearly not being certain that Merlin would have made it there on his own. The warlock would have protested if it wasn't for the fact that it took them three attempts to get up the stairs. But before Merlin could open the door, however, a voice in the shadows made them both jump.

"The tavern again, Merlin?"

"It's our fault, Sire, we took him." Arthur stepped from the darkness, his eyes somewhat haunted.

"Should have come, silly." Merlin told him, his legs no longer wanting to support his weight and leaving him practically hanging off Leon's shoulder.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Then you wouldn't be so much of a …"

"Merlin, don't finish that sentence." Leon warned, keeping a firm grip on the young man. He knew that it wouldn't take a lot to spark off Arthur's temper at the moment, especially given what had just happened with Mordred on top of Morgana openly declaring war.

"He's been calling me a prat all evening, hasn't he?"

"And muttering on about how it is all his fault." Arthur shook his head, stepping forward and taking hold of Merlin's chin so that he could tilt the warlock's head up.

"You really are an idiot."

"Not!" Merlin declared loudly, before making a hushing noise, glancing around and giggling. Leon's eyebrows raised.

"Well, he certainly seems in a better mood than he did a few moments ago."

"Turn in for the night, Leon, I'll take him from here."

"Sire?"

"That was an order." Leon blinked, sliding out from under Merlin. Arthur only just grabbed him in time to stop the servant from falling over, but Merlin didn't seem to notice, cheerfully waving goodbye to Leon. If he thought about how quickly his mood had changed, it would have surprised even him. But Leon's words had got through to him, making him realise that he was only alone because he was choosing to be. He still had friends here, Morgana hadn't won yet. And despite his flaws, Mordred had been right.

The love binding them was stronger than her hatred. If Merlin continued to isolate himself, he would be doing Morgana's work for her. The second he realised that, it was as if the whole world was suddenly a lot brighter and the alcohol went back to having its normal effect on him.

"You are a state, Merlin."

"And you are a prat, we're even."

"If we're even, why am I hauling your drunken behind to bed?" It took Merlin ten minutes to figure out an answer to that, in which time Arthur had dragged him through Gaius' door, up to his own room and dumped him on his bed before leaving. Merlin opened his mouth to yell out the reply, only to catch himself in time when he realised that Arthur was no longer there.

His last thought as he fell asleep was that Arthur had just been strangely nice.

His first thought on waking up was that Arthur was a prat as he coughed and shook the icy water out of his hair, only to find a smirking king standing over his bed, bucket in hand.

"How's the head?" Arthur asked loudly, far louder than his normal voice. Merlin decided there and then that he was definitely sharing the burden of protecting Arthur, for right now, he wanted to kill him.


End file.
